I have tried to not say too much on this blog about my frustrations out here for various reasons:1. This is India and not the UK! (good observation eh??) I have come to India to be in their country and therefore I have no rights to be banging on about timekeeping and organisation and the like. If India has chosen to be the way they have and they are growing at the pace they are, what rights have I to say anything needs to change?
Having said that, part of the reason I have been asked to come here and wanted to come here was to help them (or Raj and the Trust anyway) as Raj does see the way he and the Trust works needs to change and adapt in some areas. So, no, I have no right to comment and help, but I have been asked to and therefore be true to that.
2. I do not think that it helps anyone or any organisation or any Country who has weaknesses (such as the UK for example) to have those weaknesses flaunted on the web in front of the world. I know full well what the UK's issues are but if someone visited my Country from India and was writing a blog slagging off the weaknesses on the web I find that hard
3. I am trying to learn from this culture. I am not of the opinion that i have all the answers and India does not. Far from it. I learn vast amounts every time I come here and one of the things I learn every time I come here is that I am far, far too structured, 'planned out' and organised. I think that's the reason I am here - to learn to chill a little and to help the guys here to organise a little.
4. The issues here are not (just) about timekeeping and planning/organising. There are deep ingrained issues in India (as there are in any Country) and therefore it is not appropriate for me to come in with my size 9's and suggest all sorts of inappropriate change. I am learning (I hope) to watch and listen and see what change would work best in this culture. This is something I have done more this visit than ever before. 3 1/2 months enables you to do that.
5. Linked to the above I have needed this time to take things slower and be more focused about suggestions as, again, if I waded in from day 1 with reams of new paperwork, ideas, plans etc then we would all burn out far too quick.
Having said all of that (and they are only the things off the top of my head) I do need to just give you an insight to the struggles I have here every day, almost every hour of every day, on timekeeping, broken plans, empty commitments etc.
It really is staggeringly hard being in this culture at the best of times, let alone when you are a hyper organised person. As I say it's one of the reason's why I think God has put me and Raj together in this relationship BUT that sounds grand and yet is very very hard in reality.
I said to Raj the other day we talk about working together 'knocking the edges off each other' but in reality, having the edges knocked off you hurts...a lot.....For Raj and I.
But we are getting there. I have learnt that the lack of 'being there when you said you would be' is not some personal insult to me but is actually the opposite: It's about them seeing me as part of the furniture now that they no longer have to bow and scape and be to me on time as we are now in good relationship. I still think it's a bit of a cop out (!) but I am trying to learn this is what's behind bad timekeeping! By the way when I say bad I mean often not turning up til and hour later and no word as to why.....!!
4. The issues here are not (just) about timekeeping and planning/organising. There are deep ingrained issues in India (as there are in any Country) and therefore it is not appropriate for me to come in with my size 9's and suggest all sorts of inappropriate change. I am learning (I hope) to watch and listen and see what change would work best in this culture. This is something I have done more this visit than ever before. 3 1/2 months enables you to do that.
5. Linked to the above I have needed this time to take things slower and be more focused about suggestions as, again, if I waded in from day 1 with reams of new paperwork, ideas, plans etc then we would all burn out far too quick.
Having said all of that (and they are only the things off the top of my head) I do need to just give you an insight to the struggles I have here every day, almost every hour of every day, on timekeeping, broken plans, empty commitments etc.
It really is staggeringly hard being in this culture at the best of times, let alone when you are a hyper organised person. As I say it's one of the reason's why I think God has put me and Raj together in this relationship BUT that sounds grand and yet is very very hard in reality.
I said to Raj the other day we talk about working together 'knocking the edges off each other' but in reality, having the edges knocked off you hurts...a lot.....For Raj and I.
But we are getting there. I have learnt that the lack of 'being there when you said you would be' is not some personal insult to me but is actually the opposite: It's about them seeing me as part of the furniture now that they no longer have to bow and scape and be to me on time as we are now in good relationship. I still think it's a bit of a cop out (!) but I am trying to learn this is what's behind bad timekeeping! By the way when I say bad I mean often not turning up til and hour later and no word as to why.....!!
Let me give you just one example: Sunday I am speaking at a local Church. I have been asked to speak morning and evening by a good friend of Raj who is the assistant pastor of the Church. The only connection I have with the Church is Raj and this friend.I found out during the week that neither Raj's friend or Raj will be at the Church. All (semi understandable reasons I guess) so I will be going along to a Church I don't know with no connections as to why I am there in the hopes that someone knows I am coming. Slight exaggeration I guess but not far off.
Worse than this (and there far far worse examples I can assure you) is no one really thinks there is anything wrong with this so therefore there is no need (as far as the guys here see it) to say sorry or explain. You are just left to get on with it.
Raj has been good in trying to smooth things over (as ever) but you are still left wondering 'how can this happen?'.
As I say this is nothing at all compared to some of things that have happened out here but I feel that I don't want to air some of the more personal dirty linen in public....!!
So that's just a tiny insight into daily life here in terms of one area of frustrations. Add to that the 1001 other frustrations of food issues, cleanliness issues (i.e putting a bag in fresh dog poo and then standing in it right outside our door), language, cultural 'no go's', lack of marmite (!) etc etc) and you just scratch the surface of when you are having a bit of a down day you have to keep your focus. Sometimes easier said than done the longer you stay.
But on reflection, hey I guess I could be far less sensitive to the culture clash than some:
